The Surreal Window

5:50 in the morning and my bladder is beckoning me to offer it relief in the bathroom. I slowly toss aside the blankets that have been insulating me for the past few hours and make a trail towards the lavatory. Once my bladder has been relieved, I gaze out the window. Not expecting anything quite as breathtaking as the image sent to my brain, I take a step back and stare out into the distance. I see that the morning fog has softly covered the meadow in a fashion similar to the blankets that covered my body only a minute ago. And in this heavenly landscape of marshamallow fog and syrupy dew I spy two beautiful deer making their own trail towards their own destination of infinite possibilities. It was at this moment that it occurred to me that I, too, am on a similar journey, pondering each step with the same care and tenderness as the deer, who walk cautiously so as not to loose their footing and slip.

If either the deer or I could only see where the trail of life leads, would we still ask the questions that rack our brains every day of our precious lives?

My feet suddenly leave the floor and I fly out the window to join the deer on their journey. I do not know where they are off to, but I know that I want to be there when they arrive. I know that I want to see the light that awaits me after the struggles are over. I know that I will not be able to answer all of life's questions... My thoughts drift too easily, and overanalyzing becomes depressing... And I come to the realization that the most important thing that the deer and I have in common is life. We are both living, loving creatures. It may be true that I don't have a single individual in my life right now with whom I can experience love, but I can love life itself. I can love my friends. I can love art. I can love creating music, and creation in general. I am not burdened by life's road blocks. I have the choice to make my own path in this world, or take the most trodden path. I have the choice to follow my dreams with all my heart, or let them fade into the night along with the sun. I must choose the former in each instance and I must choose to keep my options open. If I do this, the possibilities for me are limitless.

That is what the deer told me and I believed every word of it.

Floating backwards through the window from whence I came, I find myself standing in the bathroom counting each breath I am taking to make sure that I am still alive. "1,2,3..." Yes, I believe I am alive. Still tired, I retrace the steps that led me to where I stand and I huddle back into bed, wrapping myself in the warmth of the blankets that I now refer to as my marshamallow fog... I slowly fall back asleep and into reality.